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The Art Critic



Ricky :
“Today we’re in Kent, Connecticut. We always come over here to get hot dogs from our friend Chris. He has a hot dog cart. Lots of artists live here too, and there’s sculptures all around the town… This one is two doors down from the hot dog stand. I’m going to call this one The Gassy Rooster. Maybe he had one of Chris’ chili dogs, huh mom??!”
Me : “Maybe..”
Ricky : “Wait… Is that a chicken or a rooster?”
Me : “A rooster IS a chicken.”
Ricky : “But is it a boy or a girl??”
Me : “I have no clue! Just call it The Chubby Chicken!!”
Ricky : “The Gassy Rooster is funnier Mom…”
Me : “omg… But yeah.. I agree.”

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Last Call

Ricky : “Tonight we went over to the VFW bar next to Grandma’s house because Mom had to explain DNA stuff to Grandma’s friends.. Do you think they understand it all now, Mom?”
Me : “A little bit maybe? I’m not sure…”
Ricky : “I didn’t see anyone taking notes so I’m going to say that they pretended they knew what you were talking about. Anyways… No one asked for my ID here! I think that’s against the law!!”
Me : “Uhhhh… Are you drinking alcohol??”
Ricky : “Nope. But I could probably go right up there by myself and order a drink!!”
Me : “Oh, you think so?? You can go right up there all by yourself and order one? Go ahead. By yourself. Without me.”
Ricky : “Well…. I’m not thirsty right now. Maybe I’ll go a bit later.. If I get thirsty.. But I don’t think I’ll be thirsty tonight at all.”
Me : “Yeah. I didn’t think so.”

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Ricky Gives a Pep Talk


Ricky : “Okay, kid.. You’re heading off to L.A. Are you ready??”
Tatum/Addie : “I think so, Sir!”
Ricky : “You’re going to go out there and be the best damn prize that BlytheCon L.A. has to offer!! You hear me??!!”
Tatum/Addie : “I hear you, Sir!”
Ricky : “What’re you gonna do??”
Tatum/Addie : “Be the best damn prize, Sir!!”
Ricky : “Tell me what makes you special!!”
Tatum/Addie : “An Oscar was won for my performance in Paper Moon, Sir! I was the youngest to win one!!”
Ricky : “Yes you were!! Now get in that shipping box and get yourself to the post office!!”
Tatum/Addie : “But Oscar winners fly first class, Sir?! Whatd’ya mean shipping box?? It’s dark in there!!”
Ricky : “Be brave!! You got this!!”
Tatum/Addie : “YIKES!”

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Happy 94th Birthday, Grampa!!

Ricky : “Shopping for Grampa Milt is the easiest thing ever!!”
Me : “I know! All you have to do is get him scratch-off tickets!!”
Ricky : “Did you win, Grampa??”
Grampa Milt : “WHHAAAATT??!!”
Ricky : “DID YOU WIN ANY MONEY, GRAMPA??!!!”
Grampa Milt : “YEP!”
Ricky : “CAN I HAVE SOME???!!”
Grampa Milt : “NOPE!”

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Delirium



Tippy :
“Do you see the reindeer, Ricky?? It’s floating right over by the door there…”
Ricky : “Huh??! Tippy? Do you have a fever??!! How long have you been wearing that Christmas sweater??!”
Tippy : “Since October, maybe?? Is Christmas over??!”
Ricky : “Christmas ended about 7 months ago….”
Tippy : “Gah! Grandma forgot about me didn’t she??! She usually decorates for all the holidays and then changes my clothes!!”
Ricky : “Remember the time she left you in the picture window, mounted on a horse, and you were bow-legged and your arms became transparent??!”
Tippy : “Oh yeah… You know what? I’m okay with being a bit hot in this sweater… It could be so much worse.”
Ricky : “True.”

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First You Work, Then You Eat

Ricky : “We’re at Grandma’s house. She’s supposed to be bringing us out to lunch but instead she’s making us clean up her cobwebs!!”
Me : “Us? It looks like it’s Paige doing all the work!”
Ricky : “I’m being her Cinderella Supervisor… I’m showing her where all the cobwebs are. My eyes are better than hers!! Doesn’t my dress look like something Cinderella would wear??!!”
Me : “Yes.. Except it’s a bit too clean..”
Ricky : “And I plan on keeping it that way!! Hurry up, Paige!! I’m hungry!!”

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The 4th of July

Ricky : “Today we had a picnic to celebrate the 4th of July. We had a bunch of family come over. One of my cousins asked my Mom would would happen if I fell into the pool. Mom said she would freak out and then she kept a very close eye on me so that none of my cousins ‘accidentally’ dropped me into the pool!”
Me : “I didn’t really think anyone would drop you in though…”
Ricky : “Yeah.. I don’t think so either because they know you would make them all go home and they wanted to swim because it was hot out!”
Me : “Yup, lol.”