Ricky the Reviewer

Ricky : “Today we are reviewing this jug of Bundaberg Root Beer that Dad brought home. It’s not a jug really… but doesn’t it look huge next to us??!!”
Egg : “Especially next to me!! And I’m an elephant!!”
Ricky : “Right?! Anyways… this Bundaberg Root Beer is from Australia. It’s got some ingredients in it… There’s cane sugar, ginger root, licorice root, sarsaparilla root, molasses….”
Ricky : “MOLASSES!!! One word!! It’s a brown sticky stuff people cook with..”
Me : “Ricky.. Did you like the Bundaberg Root Beer?”
Ricky : “Yeah. It tastes pretty good. I wouldn’t buy a ticket to Australia to go get some.. but if I was already there, I would buy a bottle… If you were paying..”


Silence of the Potatoes

Ricky : “I think you have enough potatoes Mom… I’m gonna keep this one. It’s shaped like a heart!”
Me : “Ohh. It IS shaped like a heart! You can’t really save a potato though, Ricky.. It’ll rot.”
Ricky : “I’m not gonna save it, Clarice… I’m gonna eat this heart with some fava beans and a nice chianti!! FTHPTHPTHPFTHP!!!”
Me : “OMG!! That Hannibal the Cannibal quote is referring to an actual liver, not a heart-shaped potato!!”
Ricky : “Are any of these potatoes shaped like a liver then??”
Me : “Ew! I have no clue! And don’t call me Clarice!!”
Ricky : “Okay, Agent Starling.. FTHPTHP!!”


Happy Buttlated Valentine’s Day!!

Ricky : “Mom.. I got this Valentine’s Day card from Christin and Steve yesterday… It had some pictures in it and I got them all ready to hang up, but now I can’t find them!! I think we were robbed!!”
Me : “Hahaha.. I don’t think we were robbed..”
Ricky : “Well. They are nowhere to be found! I am flummoxed!!”
Me : “Did you already put the poster putty on them? That stuff is super sticky..”
Ricky : “I did! It’s very sticky!”
Me : “Could you have sat on one of the pictures perhaps?”
Ricky : “There’s one stuck to my butt, isn’t there??!!”
Me : “Yup.”


Oodles of Googlies

Me : “Ricky? Did you get into your sister’s things..?”
Ricky : “Nooooo..”
Me : “Are you sure??”
Ricky : “Yessss… probably… I maybe accidentally borrowed something of Paige’s.. But she put them all over the house!! I sincerely don’t think she’ll notice that I borrowed one pair!”
Me : “Where did you get them?”
Ricky : “From one of the pictures in the living room.. I left all the other googly eyes alone though! I swear! We still have them on the TV, the light switch, all the other portraits, and the wooden apple on the shelf! They’ve been all over our house for years! I don’t even notice them anymore… My mushroom looked sad. Now he looks smart!!”
Me : “He looks smart and a little afraid..”
Ricky : “He’s afraid of you, Mom!! He’s heard things!!”
Me : “Oh shush!”


Shoe Shopping with Dad

Ricky : “Mom! Look at what a mess Dad’s making in the shoe store?! He’s got shoes all over!!”
Me : “It almost looks like an invisible man is walking towards you…… Muahahaha!! He’s gonna get you!!”
Ricky : “MOM!! Stop!”
Tiny Tina from Inside Ricky’s Bag : 
“Donn haff a crafp attahk, Whricky!”
Ricky : “WHAAATT??!”
Me : “She said don’t have a crap attack, Ricky! Hahahaha!!”


River Ricky

Ricky : “Mom? How far would you say we are from the Housatonic River in Kent, Connecticut?”
Me : “We’re about a mile and a half from there. Why?”
Ricky : “I saw them on the news… They’re all flooded because of the ice jams on the river.. Are we gonna get flooded?! Is the river gonna swallow us up! Is our yard going to be a skating rink, too??!!”
Me : “I’m pretty sure we’re going to be okay. We’re far enough away and high enough where there shouldn’t be any problems from the river here. Don’t worry.”
Ricky : “Can we go see the frozen river and the chunks of ice??”
Me : “No. It’s too dangerous. They don’t want lookie-loos making things worse. Roads are closed and the river is frozen across the main roadway. They’ve got experts there to help them figure out what to do..”
Ricky : “I’m an expert! I can help!!”
Me : “Yeah.. I’m pretty sure if I showed up with you in tow they’d tell me where to go..”
Ricky : “Are you being sarcastic??”
Me : “Yes. Yes I am.”


Ricky, Ricky, Everywhere!

Ricky : “Mom..? What is this??”
Me : “It’s you, cut out of vinyl and stuck to black paper..”
Ricky : “Why??!”
Me : “I just wanted to see how it would come out.. I’m thinking of making something like this for my car.. The cuts are a little complicated though… I may have to simplify you bit..”
Ricky : “I’m naturally a very complicated person. Good luck with that… By the way, I think it should say ‘Ricky’ instead of Blythe..”
Egg to Chip : “So eventually we’re going to be driving around in a car with her face on it too??”
Chip : “Apparently.. I’m trembling with excitement.”
Egg : “You don’t sound like you are…?”
Chip : “That was sarcasm, Egg.”