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Adulting

Ricky : “Mom? Can you see the future in that crystal ball?”
Me : “Yeah, sure…” ((continues taking photos with new lensball..))
Ricky : “Does the future show you putting your new toy down long enough to make me some dinner, maybe?!!”
Me : “Ugh.. I was too busy playing with this to go shopping… Call Dad and see if he’ll bring something home…”
Ricky : “Sometimes I feel like I’m the adult around here..”
Me : “Tell him to get ice cream!”

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When You Put Together a Great Outfit..

Ricky : “I’m ready to go!!”
Me : “That’s the same outfit you wore yesterday…”
Ricky : “So?? No one really saw it yesterday so I’m giving it an encore!”

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Birthday Jerky

Me : “What are you two doing?? You look like you’re having a bit of trouble..”
Ricky : “Me and F!zz are wrapping up the birthday gift we got for Paige.. I don’t think F!zz is a good taper..”
F!zz : “I’m stuck!”
Me : “I see that.. Is that beef jerky?? Did you seriously get Paige beef jerky for her birthday?!”
Ricky : “..yes..”
Me : “She’s a vegetarian!! She doesn’t eat meat!”
F!zz : “AWWWW!! Did you know that Ricky??!!”
Ricky : “..yeah.. I never went shopping and this is what we had at the house!! Can we tell her it’s made out of soybeans and see if she believes us??”
Me : “No.”

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Who’s On First?

Ricky : “Mom gave me a hair spa and used new stuff in my hair. What was the spray called, Mom?”
Me : “Son of a Gun..”
Ricky : “Mother. I’m asking you a simple question.. You don’t need to swear at me!! Now. What is the name of the stuff you used on my hair??!”
Me : “SON OF A GUN!”
Ricky : “Apparently she wants to keep the name to herself and just do swears! I’ll ask her again tomorrow when she’s not cranky.”

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Another Snow Day

Harry : “Ricky? When is snowstorm Toby coming??”
Ricky : “It’s here! We’re not getting any snowflakes though because it’s evaporating up in the sky! It’s dry up there and it’s sucking the wet out of the snow. Poof! ZAP! No flakes!”
Harry : “Ohhhh nice!! They closed the schools so it’s a snow day with no snow!!”
Miss Opal : “I remember the great storm of ’23.. We had 10 feet of snow and we still had to go to school..”
Ricky : “Did you have to walk there, barefoot, up hill both ways??!”
Miss Opal : “YES! How did you know??!”
Ricky : “Just a guess..”

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Sniff, Sniff

Ricky : “Please don’t steal my hat… Please don’t steal my hat.. Please don’t steal my hat..”
Me : “I’d be more worried about him grabbing you by the hair and dragging you through the house!!”
Ricky : “..uuuhhhhhhhhhhhh……. help.”