River Ricky

Ricky : “Mom? How far would you say we are from the Housatonic River in Kent, Connecticut?”
Me : “We’re about a mile and a half from there. Why?”
Ricky : “I saw them on the news… They’re all flooded because of the ice jams on the river.. Are we gonna get flooded?! Is the river gonna swallow us up! Is our yard going to be a skating rink, too??!!”
Me : “I’m pretty sure we’re going to be okay. We’re far enough away and high enough where there shouldn’t be any problems from the river here. Don’t worry.”
Ricky : “Can we go see the frozen river and the chunks of ice??”
Me : “No. It’s too dangerous. They don’t want lookie-loos making things worse. Roads are closed and the river is frozen across the main roadway. They’ve got experts there to help them figure out what to do..”
Ricky : “I’m an expert! I can help!!”
Me : “Yeah.. I’m pretty sure if I showed up with you in tow they’d tell me where to go..”
Ricky : “Are you being sarcastic??”
Me : “Yes. Yes I am.”