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Doll Meet


Ricky : “See them over there, playing with ALL the other girls.. Doing their fancy long hair.. Hmmph!”
Rainie : “I see them.. They’ll get around to admiring us too, maybe. Don’t you get enough attention as it is, Ricky??!”
Ricky : “One can never have too much attention, Rainie!! Haven’t you ever seen Toy Story??! You know what happens when they stop paying attention?? We’re in a box in the attic!!”
Rainie : “Oh nooo! I hate the attic!!”
Ricky : “I’m going to start yelling and pretend this sriracha hot sauce got in my eye! That’ll get ’em over here!”

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Grampa’s Birthday


Ricky : “This is my Grampa Milt. Today is his birthday. He’s 92 years old. Sometimes he pretends like he speaks other languages and we can’t understand him.. He’s crazy!! HI GRAMPA MILT!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!”
Grampa Milt : “WHAAT?!! Oh HER again?!! Gaaahhhh.”
Ricky : “I know he loves me. He’s just cranky.. Be nice Grampa. I know where your oxygen tanks are..”
Me : “RICKY!!”
Ricky : “I’m just sayin’….”

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Watermelon


Ricky : “Mom. There’s white speckles on this watermelon…”
Me : “That’s sea salt.”
Ricky : “You put salt on your watermelon?? On purpose??!?”
Me : “Yes.. It tastes really good. Try some!”
Ricky : “No thank you. Are there any other fruits you ruin by dumping salt on them??”
Me : “Nope. Just watermelon.”

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Walmart

Ricky : “Ta daa! This is our local Walmart, and by local I mean it’s 15 minutes away from our house because our town is too small to have it’s own Walmart…”
Me : “Very true.”
Ricky : “Remember that time there was a whole family camped out on the patio furniture display for hours. It was like they pretended it was their house!”
Me : “Yep. That was very strange.”
Ricky : “Can I get some beef jerky??”
Me : “No.”

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Monkey See Monkey Doo


Ricky : “Mom…. Is there something on my head??!! I bent down to pick up my Monkey Doo and felt something jump into my hair!! What is it??! HELP!!”
Me : “Oh noo. I think another Sonny Angel followed us home from Californiaia…”
Mr. Lemon : “My name is Lemon.. Jack Lemon. I live for excitement and adventure! I climb the highest heights! Look at me way up here. The people look like tiny ants!! Ha haaa!! I am fearless!!”
Ricky : “You are such a derp!! Those ARE ants! You’re about 12 inches off of the ground you ding-a-ling! Get out of my hair!!”
Mr. Lemon : “WIENER WEDNESDAY PARKOUR!!” ((falls into the grass))

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Turn it Down


Ricky : “MOM! I FINISHED THIS GINORMOUS COFFEE! WHAT IF I DO GAS ON THE PLANE??!! HOW DOES IT GO OUTSIDE???!!!”
Me : ((puts finger to lips and motions for Ricky to take off her headphones))
Ricky : “WHAAAATT??!”
Me : ((motions again for Ricky to take off her headphones))
Ricky : ((Takes off headphones))
Me : “You were yelling. I think the whole airport heard you….”
Ricky : “oh… That’s embarrassing.”

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Haight Ashbury


Ricky : “We may never know why Goofy and Pluto are both dogs, and yet only Goofy walks like a human, but I think I know now why he’s called Goofy!”
Me : “Walt Disney is rolling over in his grave.”
Ricky : “Are you sure, Mom?? I heard he was cryogenically frozen…”
Me : “Omg! Disney is not frozen!”
Ricky : “Disney?? Frozen?? Get it?!! He he hee heee!”
Me : “Get away from that doorway!! I think you’re breathing in too deep!!”