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Peckerhead


Ricky : “Mom! What’s that tap-tap-tap-tap noise??”
Me : “That’s a woodpecker.”
Ricky : “No… I don’t think so… Woodpeckers go ha-ha-ha-HA-ha!┬áha-ha-ha-HA-ha! ”
Me : “Ricky. That’s Woody Woodpecker! He’s a cartoon character! You’re hearing a real woodpecker.”
Ricky : “Woody Woodpecker isn’t real?!! OMG, MOM! Way to destroy my childhood!”
Me : “…sorry..”
Ricky : “I knew he wasn’t real. I’m just messin’ with you.”

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Shoes


Ricky : “Look guys! I got new shoes yesterday!”
Frenchie : “Me too!!”
Mochi : “Frenchie, you turdball! Those are MY shoes!! Give them back!”
Frenchie : “You will have to wrestle me for them…”
Mochi : “Ew. Keep them.”
Ricky : “Happy Wiener Wednesday!”

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The Library Monkey

Me : “Uhh. What are you guys doing??”
Ricky : “Lupita is helping me get the funny books, Mom!”
Lupita : “She told me to stand here and then she climbed up me!! I didn’t have a choice! She’s like a monkey!!”
Me : “RICKY! Get down before you hurt yourself or poor Lupita!!”
Ricky : “Okay…. I’m coming down! LOOK OUT BELOW!!”
Lupita : “She’s crazy!”

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Peeple Person


Me : “Ricky! Are you getting into the candy?”
Ricky : “Noooo.”
Me : “Then why am I hearing the tinkling of jelly beans?”
Ricky : “Dang Mom! You’ve got good ears! I’m not getting into the candy really..  I’m saving this marshmallow peep.”
Me : “Oh really??”
Ricky : “Yes. He is all alone in the jar of jelly beans. I’m going to take him out of there… and eat him!”
Me : “How is that saving him??!!”
Ricky : “Peeps are pack animals! He will get all crusty and dusty alone. I will be saving him from a lifetime of loneliness!  I’m doing this for HIM, Mom!”
Me : “You’re such a giver…”
Ricky : “I know.”

Aside

Paige’s Birthday!

Paige's Birthday Dinner

Ricky : “Today my sister Paige is 19 years old, so we went out to eat. I wore the shirt that mom designed for Paige when Paige was little and was in love with Tate from American Horror Story!! Right, Paige?!!”
Paige : “Yes. He was a hot tamale!”

Paige's Birthday Dinner

Ricky : “We ate at McKinney & Doyle’s.”

Paige's Birthday Dinner

Ricky : “Mom had a sangria! She only had one because she is terrible at drinking! One drink makes her silly!”

Paige's Birthday Dinner

Ricky : “Paige had water! Hahahaha Paige! You got a boring drink!”
Paige : “Ricky. I had a root beer too, remember?”
Ricky : “Oh yeah..”

Paige's Birthday Dinner

Ricky : “This is a smokey deviled egg with fish eggs on top! It’s an egg topped with eggs!! Isn’t that stupid??!! Mom ordered that one! Too much sangria, MOM!”
Me : “Ricky. I didn’t have my sangria yet when I ordered this, but nice try pretending I was drunk ordering…”
Ricky : “Oh.. right..”

Paige's Birthday Dinner

Ricky : “Paige ordered cheescake but she wanted to eat it at home. We didn’t get to sing happy birthday to her! That’s okay though. In my family we lie and say it’s someone’s birthday when it really isn’t. We like to embarrass eachother. Right, Mom?”
Me : “Yup. It’s more of a surprise that way!”

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Candy Run


Ricky : “Nell. We have to go to Walmart with Mom and Dad to get some candy for this weekend.”
Nell : “Candy?!! I love candy!”
Ricky : “We can’t let them get the yucky jelly beans!”
Nell : “Oh no! We need the good ones!”
Ricky : “And NO BEEF JERKY! Every time Dad goes to Walmart he buys beef jerky! EWW!! That stuff stinks!”
Nell : “Yeah! EWW! And we need Peeps! Let’s put Peeps at the top of the list! Is this outfit good enough for Walmart, Ricky? Should I change..? I’ve never been there…”
Ricky : “Oh Nell!!! You are SOOOO Funny!”
Nell : “What did I say….?”