Aside

Barto’s Budget Spa

Barto's Budget Spa

Ricky :
“Mom tells me she’s giving me a ‘spa’ so I’m all ready for BlytheCon in L.A. next week..”
Me : “I AM giving you a spa!”
Ricky : “Mother…. I believe the really ritzy spas have cotton towels!! Soft, fluffy ones!! This is a paper towel!!”
Me : “Ahhhh.. But it’s a Bounty paper towel! Those are the good ones!! AND it’s the select-a-size kind so we’re not wasting paper!!”
Ricky : “whoopie. you spoil me..”
Me : “I KNOW!”

Barto's Budget Spa

Ricky : “Trade secret stuff at the back of the sink here!! Blur it out, MOM!!”
Me : “The Ajax dish soap and the Son of a…”
Ricky : “DON’T SAY IT MOM!!! DON’T SWEAR!!!”
Me : “Gun?? The spray is called Son of a Gun. That’s not a swear…”
Ricky : “I always want to call it Son of a Bit..”
Me : “DON’T SAY IT!!!”

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The Art Critic



Ricky :
“Today we’re in Kent, Connecticut. We always come over here to get hot dogs from our friend Chris. He has a hot dog cart. Lots of artists live here too, and there’s sculptures all around the town… This one is two doors down from the hot dog stand. I’m going to call this one The Gassy Rooster. Maybe he had one of Chris’ chili dogs, huh mom??!”
Me : “Maybe..”
Ricky : “Wait… Is that a chicken or a rooster?”
Me : “A rooster IS a chicken.”
Ricky : “But is it a boy or a girl??”
Me : “I have no clue! Just call it The Chubby Chicken!!”
Ricky : “The Gassy Rooster is funnier Mom…”
Me : “omg… But yeah.. I agree.”

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Last Call

Ricky : “Tonight we went over to the VFW bar next to Grandma’s house because Mom had to explain DNA stuff to Grandma’s friends.. Do you think they understand it all now, Mom?”
Me : “A little bit maybe? I’m not sure…”
Ricky : “I didn’t see anyone taking notes so I’m going to say that they pretended they knew what you were talking about. Anyways… No one asked for my ID here! I think that’s against the law!!”
Me : “Uhhhh… Are you drinking alcohol??”
Ricky : “Nope. But I could probably go right up there by myself and order a drink!!”
Me : “Oh, you think so?? You can go right up there all by yourself and order one? Go ahead. By yourself. Without me.”
Ricky : “Well…. I’m not thirsty right now. Maybe I’ll go a bit later.. If I get thirsty.. But I don’t think I’ll be thirsty tonight at all.”
Me : “Yeah. I didn’t think so.”

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Ricky Gives a Pep Talk


Ricky : “Okay, kid.. You’re heading off to L.A. Are you ready??”
Tatum/Addie : “I think so, Sir!”
Ricky : “You’re going to go out there and be the best damn prize that BlytheCon L.A. has to offer!! You hear me??!!”
Tatum/Addie : “I hear you, Sir!”
Ricky : “What’re you gonna do??”
Tatum/Addie : “Be the best damn prize, Sir!!”
Ricky : “Tell me what makes you special!!”
Tatum/Addie : “An Oscar was won for my performance in Paper Moon, Sir! I was the youngest to win one!!”
Ricky : “Yes you were!! Now get in that shipping box and get yourself to the post office!!”
Tatum/Addie : “But Oscar winners fly first class, Sir?! Whatd’ya mean shipping box?? It’s dark in there!!”
Ricky : “Be brave!! You got this!!”
Tatum/Addie : “YIKES!”

Aside

Joy Brown Brings Us Joy

Joy Brown Brings Us Joy

Ricky : 
“You know what, Mom? When I see these sculptures by Joy Brown I like to pretend that somewhere in the world there are real people that look like them and that they are very kind.. And even though these are made of bronze, the real people would be really soft and squishy, and they’d give really good hugs!”
Me :  “Hmmmm. I can totally see that. Joy Brown has her studio right here in Kent, CT.”
Ricky :  “So you’re saying that the real people might live around here??!!! OMG!! We need to find them!!! C’mon!!!”
Me :  “Ahhhh.. I wasn’t really saying that but okay, lol.”

Joy Brown Brings Us Joy

Aside

Holy Crow!

Holy Crow!!

Ricky : “Mom, look! It’s Canuck!! Juliet’s crow friend from the movie, Canuck and I!!! AHHHH!! He’s a movie star!!”
Me : “Ricky… Canuck lives in Vancouver in Canada…. We’re in Connecticut.. I highly doubt that THAT crow is Canuck..”

Chris Doesn't Give Heckle Hot Dogs

Chris the Hot Dog Guy : “That crow is named Heckle! He comes here every day. There’s some bird food over on the picnic table for him.”
Ricky : “Pssstt… Mom! Look at that food over on the table… Chris has all sorts of good food on his hot dog cart and he’s feeding Heckle that stuff!! Ew”
Me : “I don’t think Heckle is supposed to be eating people food Ricky..”
Ricky : “I’ll bet if Heckle had money to buy food, he’d get a hot dog from Chris!”
Me : “Yeah, well.. Crows don’t have money..”
Ricky : “Nope. Maybe not cash but if he could talk he’d say to put it on his bill!!! HAHAHAAAAAAA!! Get it??! On his BILL!”
Me : “Yeah. I get it. You’re hilarious.”
Ricky : “I know, right?!! I crack myself up!”

Good thing This Sign Was Here... 

Ricky :
“Oh my gosh! How funny is that??!! How lucky are we??!!”
Me : “What are you talking about??”
Ricky : “Imagine if this sign was someplace else?? We wouldn’t have seen Heckle here today!! He would have been at the other place where the sign was!! It was meant to be, us seeing him today!! WOO HOO!!”
Me : “Sooo.. You’re thinking that Heckle only showed up here today because he saw the Crow Crossing sign??”
Ricky : “Well durrrr, Mom! Of course!!”
Me : “Yep. I’m sure you’re right. Aren’t we the lucky ones…”
Ricky : “That’s what I just said!!”

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Happy 94th Birthday, Grampa!!

Ricky : “Shopping for Grampa Milt is the easiest thing ever!!”
Me : “I know! All you have to do is get him scratch-off tickets!!”
Ricky : “Did you win, Grampa??”
Grampa Milt : “WHHAAAATT??!!”
Ricky : “DID YOU WIN ANY MONEY, GRAMPA??!!!”
Grampa Milt : “YEP!”
Ricky : “CAN I HAVE SOME???!!”
Grampa Milt : “NOPE!”